Season & Savor – Are you Listening?

Nourishing hearts as faithfully as we nourish our tables.

What I used to call Soul Food Sunday is now Season & Savor – see last week’s post for the reasons for the name change.

I’ve been pondering something for a while now, asking myself, “Are you really listening,” Kathleen?

My husband brought this home from a men’s group a little over a year ago, and I’ve been turning it over in my mind ever since. Coming back to it. Wrestling with it. Trying, slowly, to work it into my everyday conversations and interactions.

Well… that’ll humble you in a hurry.

If I’m grading myself honestly?
A C- feels generous.

I’ve shared before that my brain tends to run fast. Really fast. I can be hyper-focused one minute and scattered the next, working on eight things at once. And while that might get dinner on the table or a recipe tested, it doesn’t exactly lend itself to being a present, attentive listener.

So this has been something I’ve been working on. Not just thinking about, but actually practicing.

• Looking people in the eye
• Putting my phone away and ignoring the dings, pings, and rings 
• Asking better questions
• Holding back my own experiences unless they’re invited, and then keeping them short

Because here’s what I’m learning:

Listening isn’t just hearing words. It’s making someone feel seen.

Scripture says it plainly:

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak…” — James 1:19 (NIV)

And that kind of listening doesn’t come naturally. It takes intention. It takes slowing down when everything in me wants to move faster.

And honestly, if I can be blunt, I suck at it, especially at group events.

This week I was at a food bloggers conference, not a ton of people, probably around 70 people, including the speakers. It was fun meeting up with those I know already, those I’ve interacted with for years but only online and many I have never met before.

And I realized this is my hardest area: really giving all of my attention to the person who is speaking to me. Instead, as I tried to tell myself to keep eye contact, listen fully, I would hear another conversation and be pulled in…my eyes might have stayed focused (though I doubt it) but my mind was wandering.

Or people were laughing, and I would get a little FOMO, or even just activity from others walking around, other conversations, all of those would pull me away from truly listening. Ugh, I frustrated myself and I still have a very, very long way to go, but…

Maybe that’s part of this too.

We won’t always get it right in the moment.
But we can circle back.

So here’s what I’m holding onto this week:

I don’t want to just hear people.
I want to see them.

And that’s going to take practice… a lot of it.

And maybe it comes down to this simple wisdom often attributed to Abraham Lincoln:

“Better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

Or, said another way…
God gave us two ears, two eyes, and one mouth.

Seems pretty clear which ones we’re meant to use more.

Still learning. Still trying.
And if this hits a little close to home for you too… you’re not alone 💚

~ With grace at the table, and beyond

I read and respond to every email and comment, and I’m so thankful for each of you who comes back week after week. It means more than you know when you make my recipes and share your thoughts 💚