Nourishing hearts as faithfully as we nourish our tables.
Welcome to Season & Savor Sunday — because feeding our bodies is not enough.
Patience is not my strong suit. Ask my husband. Ask anyone who has ever been late to my dinner table.
So of course it’s next on the list.
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)
A few weeks ago, I read Day 4 of a Fruit of the Spirit plan in the YouVersion app, and one line stopped me: “Patience is not just waiting.”
I have done plenty of waiting. I just didn’t always do it well.
I thought I’d marry young. Instead, I had more than 20 bridesmaid dresses in my closet. Year after year, friend after friend. At my best friend’s rehearsal dinner, she teased the whole room that I was still single, and did anybody know anybody? Everyone laughed. So did I. She said it with love, and I’ve never held it against her.
Then I went back to my room and cried. Not because she said it, but because I was tired of waiting.
Was that patience on my part? Waiting, sure. Patience? Not so much. I really wanted to be married. Like, now!
The change started on a New Year’s Day when I was 32. I sat with my hands open and cried again, but the prayer was different. “Help me be okay with being single, Lord. Show me how to serve You in it. And if marriage isn’t Your plan for me, please take the longing away.“
I thought I’d handed it over before. I hadn’t. Not really.
Nothing changed on the outside. No suitor on the porch on January 2nd. I still wanted my person. But I was softer. More open. Paul wrote, “I have learned how to be content with whatever I have” (Philippians 4:11, NLT), and for the first time I had a small idea of what he meant.
I met Brad that November (mind you, that was 11 months later). I knew he was “the one” fast. He did not get the memo.
We dated, and then we broke up. He needed time, and I couldn’t be kissing friends for who knows how long. That stretch apart was hard. I didn’t call. I didn’t chase. When he reached out, I answered kindly and left it there. When we landed at the same events, I kept it friendly and kept “will you please hurry up and figure this out” to myself.
(Full disclosure: a little footsie under the table at a group dinner may have helped things along. I said I was growing, not perfect.)
He told me later he’d known within days that he’d messed up. He just didn’t know how to find his way back. Two years after we met, we got married. I was 35.
Around our fifth anniversary, we were driving downtown for an overnight. My parents had our babies (thanks, Mom and Dad!). Out of nowhere, Brad said, “If I knew then what I know now, I never would have hesitated. I never would have made you wait.”
That meant so much to me. It still does.
But I wouldn’t trade the wait. In fact, I’d do it all again, and longer, to marry this man. God knew what I needed. He also knew we both needed a little time, a little work, a little growing up. Pushing wouldn’t have sped up any of it.
It’s a lot like bread. I love baking bread, and the best thing I can do for dough is leave it alone. Same with a braise. Low heat, a lid, a few hours. Crank up the burner and all you get is tough meat, sooner. And the smell while you wait is half the gift.
Paul’s word for patience in Galatians is makrothumia. Makros means long. Thumos means temper. Long-tempered. Some translations use long-suffering. (That part I had down.) Our English word comes from the Latin for “to suffer.” But I like the Greek better. It’s less about gritting my teeth and more about letting people simmer slowly.
I’m still learning. Brad needs time to think after a disagreement. I want to talk it out right now. I pushed hard on that when we were newlyweds. It did not go well.
And dinner? I used to stew (ha) when I called everyone, and nobody came. These days I wait a bit, fix my plate, and sit down. No snark. Sometimes I carry a plate into his office. I’m slowly learning to give people time and space, which I think translates into waiting on God’s timing. From that devotional, I loved these lines: “Biblical patience is the ability to trust God in the waiting and treat people with grace while the process unfolds. It is strength under control. It is faith refusing to rush what God is forming.” (Quoted from The Fruit of the Spirit and the Power of a Biblical Blessing.)
The people I love are still in the oven. So am I.
“Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act.”
Psalm 37:7 (NLT)
“Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.” Romans 12:12 (NLT)
Who are you tempted to rush this week? Maybe pull out a chair, sit down, and let God handle the slow part.
~ With grace at the table, and beyond
I read and respond to every email and comment, and I’m so thankful for each of you who comes back week after week. It means more than you know when you make my recipes and share your thoughts 💚
Rate & Comment